The Pied Piper
At last, a modern pantomime re-telling of this famous title, with loads of new ideas and ratty mayhem!
Fancy a less commonly performed pantomime, but still with the appeal of a famous, traditional title? Then look no further than this cracking new version of the Germanic tale! True to its roots in folklore, but packed full of up-to-date comedy, this is "much more of a panto" than most other versions.
Sour-Kraut (the Witch) and Rat-Worst (the Chief Rat) battle it out against Fairy Strudel and a host of comical characters, including Dame Helga Von Trump (the local sausage maker). Some unusual scenes include Helga’s pig farm and a hilarious sausage cooking routine.
There's plenty for the Chorus and Dancers to get their teeth into, particularly the junior members, who are piglets in one scene and also get to play the rats and the young townsfolk, who are spirited away by the Piper. What's more, most groups will be pleased to hear that very few men are required among the principals.
Full cast and scenery requirements are listed below
Many productions of this script have won NODA and drama federation awards, including Spittal Variety Group (NODA “Best Pantomime”)!
"...This was a show big on laughs, as the cast squeezed every last giggle from gags about rats, the German language, sewage and enormous sausages! This was Seaton’s biggest, boldest, funniest panto yet and though no rats or children were harmed in the production, many an audience member split their sides.” (View News Devon)
Minehead Panto People
Minehead Panto People
EXCERPT from Act I Scene 1: The Town Square © Alan P Frayn
WILLIE: | Oh, there you are, Mum! That sunbed you ordered has just been delivered. |
HELGA: | Ooh, good – have you had a look at it? |
WILLIE: | Yes, but some German’s already put his towel on it! |
HELGA: | I shouldn’t really be splashing out on things like that, cos it’s left me short of money to pay the Burgomeister now. |
WILLIE: | You mean we can’t go to McDonald’s? |
HELGA: | Eh? |
WILLIE: | You said we haven’t got enough for the “burger master”! |
HELGA: | No, the Burgomeister! It’s rent day! |
WILLIE: | We never did have much money, did we, Mum? Remember when you used to make me wear those stick-on soles? |
HELGA: | Yes, but lots of children had to make do with them. |
WILLIE: | I know, but they had shoes! |
HELGA: | It was your Dad’s fault – he used to spend it all on his wine-making. |
WILLIE: | Wine drinking, more like! |
HELGA: | I know – that’s why he was such a terrible singer. |
WILLIE: | What do you mean? |
HELGA: | Well, he always used to come in late and he could never find the right key! |
WILLIE: | Yeah, but he did have his good points too. |
HELGA: | That’s true – he was a very good vater. [Pronounced: “farter”] |
WILLIE: | What do you expect with a name like “Von Trump”? |
HELGA: | No – vater. That’s German for father! … He shot down two German planes, you know. |
WILLIE: | Cor, did he get a medal? |
HELGA: | No, a prison sentence – it was 1987! … And the day after he got out, he went and drowned in one of his vats of wine. |
WILLIE: | Oh, dear – he didn’t suffer, did he? |
HELGA: | I don’t think so, no – he got out twice to go to the toilet! |
WILLIE: | And what about your previous husband? |
HELGA: | Never touched a drop of alcohol – he died from drinking too much coffee! |
WILLIE: | Let’s hope it was instant! |
HELGA: | And as for my first, he fell into the washing machine. |
WILLIE: | Oh, well – at least he died in Comfort! |
HELGA: | That’s enough banter, son – if we’re gonna pay this rent, we need to sell some sausages – and quick! … Hey, that reminds me – I left some cooking in the oven. |
WILLIE: | You’d better get back before the timer goes off. |
HELGA: | What timer? |
WILLIE: | You know – the one that bleeps before you take the sausages out. |
HELGA: | Oh, you mean the smoke alarm! |
Characters
BURGOMEISTER: | Pompous head of Hamelin town council. (Probably male, but could be played by female) |
HELGA VON TRUMP: | Pantomime Dame, a sausage-maker and pig farmer. (Obviously, best played by a man) |
WILLIE: | Helga’s daft son. (Male, but could be played by female) |
HANS: | Helga’s more sensible son. (Can either be played by male, or female as Principal Boy) |
HEIDI: | The Burgomeister’s daughter. (Principal girl) |
PIPPIN: | The Pied Piper. (Probably male, but could be played by female) |
BLATTER & |
Idiotic rat catchers, typical panto-style comedy twosome. (Either can be male or female) |
SOUR-KRAUT: | An evil sorceress. (Female) |
RAT-WORST: | The Chief Rat. (Male or female) |
FAIRY STRUDEL: | Typical good fairy character. (Female) |
CHORUS: | Germanic townsfolk Farmhands Spirits of the Magic Mountain |
DANCERS: | Featured in musical numbers as desired. |
JUNIORS: | Young Townsfolk, Piglets and Rats |
THE 4 RATLETS: | 4 young Dancers or Chorus also play the speaking “Ratlets” in Act I. |
Scenes (Notes on simplified scenery are also included in the script)
ACT I | |
Prologue: | Sweet ‘n Sour Starters (As Act I Scene 1, magically lit) |
Scene 1 : | The Town Square (Full stage exterior scene) |
Scene 2 : | Down in the Sewers (Front of Tabs or front cloth) |
Scene 3 : | Helga’s Pig Farm (Full or half-stage pig farm scene) |
Scene 4 : | The Hinterland of Hamelin (Front of Tabs or front cloth) |
Scene 5 : | Back in the Square (Full stage, as Act I Scene 1) |
Scene 6 : | On the Banks of the River(Front of Tabs or front cloth) |
Scene 7 : | In the Far Flung Foothills (Front cloth or front of Tabs) |
Scene 8 : | The Magic Mountain (Full stage “transformation” scene) |
ACT II | |
Scene 1 : | The Rat and Ferret (Full stage Bierkeller scene) |
Scene 2 : | The Burgomeister’s Chambers (Front of Tabs or front cloth) |
Scene 3 : | Downtown Again (Full stage, as Act I Scene 1) |
Scene 4 : | Return to the River (As Act I Scene 6) |
Scene 5 : | The Sausage Stuffery (Probably as Act I Scene 3) |
Scene 6 : | Meanwhile in the Mountains (As Act I Scene 7) |
Scene 7 : | Wunderbar! (As Act I Scene 8) |
Scene 8 : | Piggery Jokery (Front of Tabs) |
Scene 9 : | Auf Wiedersehen! (Probably as Act I Scene 1 or 8) |